Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”.
– Mary Anne Radmacher
Flickr Creative Commons Photo by programwitch
There have been a LOT of posts about teacher burnout lately. I mean a LOT. It breaks my heart to read these heart-on-sleeve reflections written by people I admire, people who have inspired me daily since tentatively beginning my twitter journey three years ago.
Teaching is a HARD job. It is, contrary to common public opinion, most definitely NOT a 9 to 3:30 profession … WITH summers off. Evenings aren’t free and, true, often your OWN family takes a second seat.
This summer, I spent several days working on a program I use to share curriculum resources, (links, inspiring tid-bits, etc.), with my students and their families. And … then … the system was “upgraded”. All that hard work was gone … in a FLASH. Early in September, muddling through it in the evenings, after teaching all day, the “frustration” was MOUNTING. I will NEVER forget the moment when my youngest son said, “Mom, I like you WAY better when you’re NOT teaching.” Gulp.
I am 100% certain that I am working harder NOW than I did when I first STARTED teaching … 27 years ago. Somehow, it seems more complex. MUCH of it is self-imposed. I am a perfectionist.
While twitter has been a BLESSING in my life, both professionally AND personally, I am CONTINUALLY pushed. CONTINUALLY learning … for myself AND for my students. I’ve learned to “sip more slowly” from the proverbial “firehose” that twitter can sometimes be. There are a LOT of “should”s, tools I would like to explore, things I want to learn. It is SUCH an exciting time to be a learner … but it can ALSO be VERY hard with only SO many hours in a day.
New policies come in. The curriculum, HUGE as it is, changes. Students with special needs, some you’ve never heard of before, enter your room deserving of EVERYTHING you can give them. The HOURS of personal time spent READING, in order to meet the needs of these learners, of EVERY learner, in your daytime family … so that you can be the BEST you can BE for them. Meetings are frequent, committees and Professional Learning Communities are the norm. IPPs, (IEPs), take special attention and a life of their own. Supervision … an expected duty … trains your bladder in ways that no other profession is capable of. 😉
It’s hard to live in the moment. To enjoy the immediacy of what is happening around you. Yes, if you’re wondering, I’ve read Echert Tolle … and STILL I fight to be “in the now”! Because … so often we’re thinking about where we’ve started and where we need to be. Goal setting, planning … sometimes, no … OFTEN, at 3 am. Some moments are better than others. Some DAYS are better than others. And, if the truth be known … some YEARS are better than others.
What keeps me going? My students, the relationships, and the magic of learning. No two days are EVER the same. I LOVE that I can be a Lead Learner in a classroom FULL of curious eight year olds. They keep me young and excited … even through most tough days. For me, this is ENOUGH … for now.
Flickr Creative Commons Photo by Digitalnative
I am striving for balance. Family time, work time, time for me. In teaching, this is a balancing act that challenges ALL of us. I am STILL learning to prioritize … after ALL this time.
I wish I had more answers. I cross my fingers for ALL those amazing teachers out there, struggling. As Angela Maiers would so powerfully tell you … YOU MATTER.